December 11, 2017 (PSA)


  • Does not respect your need for alone time

  • Tries to isolate you from family, friends, career relationships, and outside interests

  • Wants you to quit or change jobs/friends/relationships for him because HE is uncomfortable with them Asks you to do things you are uncomfortable doing (i.e., lying, loaning him money, sex, etc.)

  • Uses drugs or uses alcohol too frequently or abundantly

  • Has frequent unemployment or job changes, which he claims are never his fault

  • Wants to control your hair, dress, behavior, friends, or job

  • Has had multiple unsuccessful relationships

  • Does not tell the truth

  • You “accidentally” find out information you should have known about him.

  • Is physically, emotionally, verbally, or sexually “rough” or “weird”

  • Is too charming – has all the right lines and appears excessively smooth

  • Has a history or previous diagnosis of mental illness, especially untreated PTSD, depression, or un-medicated bipolar disorder (previously manic depression), conduct disorder or anti-social personality disorder, schizophrenia, narcissistic or borderline personality disorder, and/or unsuccessful treatment of substance use

  • Has a criminal record to include: recurrent speeding violations, DUI, assault on female, battery of any kind, other assaults, any sexual offense, forgery/bad checks, dead beat bad dad issues

  • He is inflexible and cannot change to meet a spontaneous request.

  • The rules are for everyone else except him.

  • Has problems with authority figures


  • Owns a gun

  • Has used weapons in prior in abusive relationships

  • Has threatened to kill anyone or anything or self

  • Hurts children or animals

  • Has strangled a partner

  • Has forced a partner to have sex

  • Has assaulted a pregnant woman

  • Assaults in front of other people

  • Violates Court Orders or Restraining Orders

  • Alcohol or drug use

  • Stalks anyone for any reason

  • Repeat offenses of this list